TBS Quotes


“I stayed in the Marine Corps for 24 years because it’s the most intellectually free of all the services.”



A chit from any medical personnel is a recommendation – if I don’t like the call, I am going to tell the Doc to pack sand.”

        -- SPC



“If you are a liberal, you are good to go.  You could even be elected President.”

        -- STAFF



“If you get bit in the eye by a bee or you get bit by a chigger and you go into shock … your rifle gets medivaced with you.”

        -- STAFF



“The bad thing about getting a bullet hole in the hand is you can’t eat M&Ms anymore.”

        -- STAFF



“When I joined the Corps, we threw javelins.  We fought with skirts on – we’d go in and take out the whole town  -- dogs, cats … everything.”

        -- STAFF



“Does it matter if it is a silk flag or cotton flag?”

         -- LT on the characteristics of wind flags at the range.



“Hey (   ), your mom must have cried when you learned how to talk.”

        -- Lt as he heard another Lt  talk through the entire 20 mile hump



“What is an example from history of combining superior firepower, maintaining momentum, and exploiting success?”

        -- SPC

“The war.”

        -- LT



“When I say ‘your ass,’ I mean everything from your neck down.”

        -- STAFF



“The standing position will be supported by two feet.”

        -- STAFF



“You all need some testicle fortitude.”

        -- SPC



“A lot of Marines on the range tend to jerk their rounds off.”

        -- Insight from STAFF



“You can all go to Hell!”

        -- SPC after no one did his Call for Fire homework.



“Sir, can you elaborate on the term ‘hard lovin?’

        --  Lt  responding to a Semper fit adjective



“Never, never, never , never, reload on the run … unless you have to.”

        -- STAFF



“I don’t give a s%#@ if you fail an exam here.”

        -- SPC



“We are not in utopia. We are at the Basic School and we have basic problems.”

        -- STAFF



“Simulating combat is like a virgin studying sex.”

        -- SPC



“Can I get ceramic fillings for my teeth … these metal ones are affecting my compass.”

        --  LT



“Ladies and Gentlemen, you couldn’t have drove a ten pound penny nail in my ass with a sledgehammer.”

        -- GUEST SPEAKER



“My gunman was 6’4” and could go bear hunting with a switch.”

        -- GUEST SPEAKER



Here Obalde, hang on to my belt loop and follow me around like we’re in jail.”

        -- INSTRUCTOR



“When you deploy your machine guns, you need stakes so you don’t have Momba the Idiot Boy on a drug waiver hosing down your grunts in front of you.”

        -- INSTRUCTOR



“When we were dropping the North Koreans, our tracer rounds would set fire to their white padded uniforms.  So now at night, we had illumination.”

        -- GUEST SPEAKER



“We always seem to have enough time to do it again and again but not enough time to do it right.”

        -- SPC



“Let’s give it up for the piper!  He has been piping his little lungs out for us.”

        -- SPC



“You leave your trash out and what does that attract?  That’s right, Bubba – some gap-toothed fool from South Stafford.”

        -- SPC



“It’s easy to go into an environment and you get to kill everything that moves – that’s easy, that’s fun.”

        -- SPC on MOOTW



“If you don’t think patrolling is good s%#@, then the next question you have to ask yourself is if you are heterosexual or not.”

        -- SPC



“The Marine Corps Ball is coming up pretty soon.  You better start making arrangements for a date soon, and you better keep it over 15 for you pedophiles out there.”

        -- SPC



“If Clan A is blowing up Clan B, bust out some popcorn and watch.”

        -- SPC



“On the test tomorrow, there will be questions.”

        -- An SPC test review



“Sir, my mutha raised me to be a propa suthun woman.”

        -- Lt  when explaining why she knew the answer to an etiquette question



“I’ll tell you when it’s cold.”

        -- SPC



“Roseberry, your freakin’ Pinocchio nose is getting longer by the minute.”

        -- SPC catching a LT BSing him



“Spanky? Spanky? You actually answer to that?”

        -- An SPC when he found out a Lt's nickname



“Everyone since the beginning of time has learned the five paragraph order.”

        -- SPC



“If you step on a mine, you’re done – you’re a big red mist – unless you are lucky enough that it doesn’t go off.  Then your buddy behind you says ‘hey man, you see what you just stepped on?’  Then the thing to do is break out a Bible and start reading.”

        -- STAFF



“If you see a nocturnal animal at two in the afternoon, it has rabies.  You should shoot it.”

        -- INSTRUCTOR



“If your enemy fails to fall, you will conduct an immediate failure drill … shoot him in the face.”

        -- STAFF



“I’ll have to get back to you on what time – it all depends on when I’m done with my hangover.”

        -- A STAFF member coordinating weekend snap-in practice for Lts.