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You wake up face down on the pavement.
You put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.
You see a "60 Minutes" news team waiting in your office.
Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party
and there aren't any.
You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out
of the city.
Your twin sister forgot your birthday.
You wake up and discover your waterbed broke and then realize
you don't have a waterbed.
Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you
follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.
Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat.
The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.
You wake up and your braces are locked together.
You call your answering service and they tell you it's none
of your business.
Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife.
Your income tax check bounces.
You put both contact lenses in the same eye.
Your wife says, "Good morning, Bill" and your name
is George.
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