| 1. Big
companies don't do business via chain letter. Bill Gates is Not
giving you $1000, and Disney is not giving you a free Vacation.
There is no baby food company issuing class-action checks. MTV
will Not give you backstage passes if you forward something to
the most people. You can relax; there is no need to pass it on
"just in case It's true." Furthermore, just because
someone said in the message, four generations back, that "we
checked it out and it's legit," does Not actually make it
true. And the person that wrote "two weeks later I received
a check for $24,870" is sitting back a laughing at all the
people that believed his comment.
2. There is no kidney theft ring in New Orleans. No one
is waking up in a bathtub full of ice, even if a friend of a
friend swears it happened to their cousin. If you are hell-bent
on believing the kidney-theft ring stories, please visit http://urbanlegends.tqn.com/library/weekly/aa062997.htm
And I quote: "The National Kidney Foundation has repeatedly
issued requests for actual victims of organ thieves to come
forward and tell their stories. None have. "That's "none"
as in "zero." Not even your friend's cousin.
3. Neiman Marcus doesn't really sell a $200 cookie recipe.
And even ifthey do, we all have it. And even if you don't, you
can get a copy at http://www.bl.net/forwards/cookie.html Then,
if you make the recipe, decide the cookies are that awesome,
feel free to pass the recipe on.
4. If the latest NASA rocket disaster(s) DID contain plutonium
that went to particulate over the eastern seaboard, do you REALLY
think this information would reach the public via an AOL chain-letter?
5. There is no "Good Times" virus. In fact, you
should never, ever, ever forward any email containing any virus
warning unless you first confirm that an actual site of an actual
company that actually deals with viruses. Try: http://www.norton.com/
And even then, don't forward it. We don't care. And you cannot
get a virus from a flashing IM or email, you have to download....ya
know, like, a FILE!
6. If your cc: list is regularly longer than the actual
content of your message, you're probably going to Hell.
7. If you're using Outlook, IE, or Netscape to write email,
turn off the "HTML encoding," Those of us on Unix
shells can't read it, and don't care enough to save the attachment
and then view it with a web browser, since you're probably forwarding
us a copy of the Neiman Marcus Cookie Recipe anyway.
8. If you still absolutely MUST forward that 10th-generation
message from a friend, at least have the decency to trim the
eight miles of headers showing everyone else who's received
it over the last 6 months. It sure wouldn't hurt to get rid
of all the that begin each line. Besides, if it has gone around
that many times we've probably already seen it.
9. Craig Shergold (or Sherwood, or Sherman, etc.) in England
is notdying of cancer or anything else at this time and would
like everyone to stop sending him their business cards. He apparently
is also no longer a "little boy" either.
10. The "Make a Wish" foundation is a real organization
doing fine work, but they have had to establish a special toll
free hot line in response to the large number of Internet hoaxes
using their good name and reputation. It is distracting them
from the important work they do.
11. If you are one of those people who forwards anything
that promises "something bad will happen if you don't,"
then something bad will happen to you if I ever meet you in
a dark alley. This includes prayers for "good luck,"
as the Bible is not a luck book.
12. Women really are suffering in Afghanistan, and PBS and
NEA funding are still vulnerable to attack (although not at
the present time) but forwarding an e-mail won't help either
cause in the least. If you want to help, contact your local
legislative representative, or get in touch with Amnesty International
or the Red Cross. As a general rule, e-mail "signatures"
are easily faked and mean nothing to anyone with any power to
do anything about whatever the competition is complaining about.
(P. S. There is no bill pending before Congress that will
allow long Distance companies to charge you for long distance
when using the Internet.)
Bottom Line ... composing e-mail or posting something on
the Net is As easy as writing on the walls of a public restroom.
Don't automatically believe it until it's proven false... ASSUME
it's false, unless there is proof that it's true. Got it? Good.
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