Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the
men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about
the way his mother cooked.
An elderly woman died last month. Having never married,
she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions
for her memorial service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take
me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when
A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would
you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He said,
"Call for backup."
A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she
dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it necessary
to be quiet in church?" Annie replied, "Because people
A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary
took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A small child replied: "They
couldn't get a baby-sitter."
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments
with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment
to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is
there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers
and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy answered,
"Thou shall not kill."
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything,
including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent
when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's
ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as
though he were ill, and said, Johnny what is the matter? Little
Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm
going to have a wife."
A very dirty little fellow came in from playing in the yard
and asked his mother, "Who am I? " Ready to play the
game she said, "I don't know! Who are you?" "WOW!"
cried the child. "Mrs. Johnson was right! She said I was
so dirty, my own mother wouldn't recognize me!"
A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the
first day of school: "If you promise not to believe everything
your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe
everything he says happens at home.