I have never been known as "anti-establishment"
but I ran across these for you who are less-than-happy about
paying your taxes. I know, I'm cutting my own throat because
these taxes pay my check but I just had to share this, if only
for the humor of it all. By the way, if any tax people are reading,
PLEASE don't audit me!!!
Well, it's tax time again, boys and girls. So cough it up
if you haven't already! But no one says you have to go gentle
into that dark night. Here are some hints on how to annoy the
IRS if you owe them money...
1. Always put staples in the right hand corner. Go ahead
and put them down the whole right side. The extractors who remove
the mail from the envelopes have to take out any staples on
the right side.
2. Never arrange paperwork in the right order, or even facing
the right way. Put a few upside down and backwards. That way
they have to remove all your staples, rearrange your paperwork
and re-staple it (on the left side).
3. Line the bottom of your envelope with Elmer's glue and
let it dry before you put in you forms, so that the automated
opener doesn't open it and the extractor has to open it by hand.
4. If you're very unfortunate and have to pay taxes, use
a two or three party check. On top of paying with a third party
check, pay one of the dollars you owe in cash. When an extractor
receives cash, no matter how small an amount, s/he has to take
it to a special desk and fill out of few nasty forms.
5. Write a little letter of appreciation. Any letter received
has to be read and stamped regardless of what it is or what
6. Write your letter on something misshapen and unconventional.
Like on the back of a Kroger sack.
7. When you mail it, mail it in a big envelope (even if
its just a single EZ form). Big envelopes have to be torn and
sorted differently than regular business size ones. An added
bonus to the big envelope is that they take priority over other
mail, so the workers can hurry up and deal with your mess.
8. If you send two checks, they'll have to staple your unsightly
envelope to your half-destroyed form.
9. Always put extra paper clips on your forms. Any foreign
fasteners or the like have to be removed and put away.
10. Sign your name in ink on every page. Any signature has
to be verified and then date stamped.
These are just a few of the fun and exciting things you
can do with the IRS. These methods are *only* recommended when
you owe money.
11. Send them your shirt and say you can have that also.