"I
can't find it,"
REALLY MEANS, "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands,
so I'm completely clueless."
"That's women's work,"
REALLY MEANS, "It's dirty, difficult and thankless."
"Will you marry me?"
REALLY MEANS, "Both my roommates have moved out, I can't
find the washer, and there is no more peanut butter."
"It's a guy thing,"
REALLY MEANS, "There is no rational thought pattern connected
with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
"Can I help with dinner?"
REALLY MEANS, "Why isn't it already on the table?"
"It would take too long to explain,"
REALLY MEANS, "I have no idea how it works."
"I'm getting more exercise lately,"
REALLY MEANS, "The batteries in the remote are dead."
"We're going to be late,"
REALLY MEANS, "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive
like a maniac."
"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard,"
REALLY MEANS, "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
"That's interesting, dear,"
REALLY MEANS, "Are you still talking?"
"Honey, we don't need material things to prove our
love,"
REALLY MEANS, "I forgot our anniversary again."
"You expect too much of me,"
REALLY MEANS, "You want me to stay awake."
"It's really a good movie,"
REALLY MEANS, "It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and naked
women."
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