1. Your wife's two favorite shades of lipstick are light green
2. You go to a barbecue and insist that your family feed
3. Your children are required to clear housing before going
"TAD-Excess" to college.
4. You require your mechanic to replace the sandbags in
your car's floorboard as a part of a tune-up.
5. Your mini van is equipped with blackout lights.
6. Your kids call their mother "Household 6."
7. Your kids volunteer to pull Monitor Duty on the school
8. Your doorbell sounds off with the current challenge and
9. Your house has firing sector and distance sketches posted
by every window.
10. You give the command "Fix Bayonets" at Thanksgiving
11. Your kids show meal cards at the kitchen door, except
the oldest, who is on separate rats.
12. You make your daughter sign out on a liberty pass on
13. Your kindergartner calls recess "smoke break."
14. Your wife "takes a knee" in the checkout line at the
15. You do your "back to school" shopping at the U.S. Cavalry
16. Your son fails the third grade but tells everyone he
was a "Third phase drop."
17. Your kids salute their grandparents.
18. Your kids get a monthly LES for their allowance.
19. Your grandmother won "Squad leader of the year."
20. All your kids have names that start with 3/3, 1/4, 2/6,
21. Your pickup has your name stenciled on the windshield.
22. Your have ECR cards from each of your kids for their
toys and other T/E equipment.
23. Your older kids call the youngest one "Cherry."
24. Your kids recite their ABCs phonetically.
25. Your wife keeps B-Rat service utensils in the China
26. Your wife left you and you held a "Change of Command"
27. You call your in-laws "those Regimental Staff pogues."
28. You and your kids sing PT cadence songs when traveling,
just to pass the time....
29. Your dog's name is "Recon."
30. You bum "dips" from your four year old daughter.
31. All your possessions are military issue.
32. Your kids call their sandbox "The 'Stumps."
33. You have pull-up bars outside your front door.
34. Your daughter's first haircut was a flattop.
35. Your kids pull firewatch.
36. Your newborn's first words were "Good to go Sir."
37. You removed the lower branches from your yard's trees
to clear your fields of fire.
38. You have an Ops calendar and a POD posted on the kitchen
39. The standard command when you get in the family vehicle
is "Count, off!"
40. You hold regular "Health and comfort" inspections of
your kids' rooms.
41. You refer to your property line as the Line Of Departure.