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YOUR DOG'S NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS

 

 
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1.  I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
2.  The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
3.  I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
4.  I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
5.  I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
6.  I will not eat the cats' food, before, or after, they eat it.
7.  I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.
8.  I will not throw up in the car.
9.  I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
10.  The litter box is not a cookie jar.
11.  I will not wake up Mommy by putting my cold, wet nose on her bottom end.
12 . I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
13.  I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think that I am hemorrhaging.
14.  When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.
15. I will not drop soggy tennis balls in the underwear of someone who is sitting on the toilet.
16.  We do not have a doorbell.  Therefore, I will not bark each time I hear one on the television.
17.  I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with them.
18.  The sofa is not a face towel.  Neither are Mom & Dad's laps.
19.  My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
20.  I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration.

Email -- jdgrose115@polyglut.net
Web -- http://members.tripod.com/~jdgrose115/

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