Captain Grose's Humor pages

 
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1.  Can cuss for ten minutes without ever repeating a word.
2.  Have a spine.
3.  Can play a cherry Lieutenant like a finely tuned instrument.
4.  Can see in the dark.
5.  Have eyes in the back of their heads.
6.  Still don't trust the Russians.
7.  Still hate the French.
8.  Don't know how to be politically correct.
9.  Don't give a damn about being politically correct.
10.  Think that "politically correct" should fall under "sodomy" in the UCMJ.
11.  Love deployments because there is less paperwork and more "real work."
12.  Can run 5 miles with a hangover.
13.  Do not fear women in the military, yet...
14.  Would like to date G. I. Jane.
15.  Still know how to use a buffer.
16.  Can tell you anything you want to know about an M1911A1 although they are no longer in the inventory.
17.  Believe that they do have a rendezvous with destiny.
18.  Believe that "Nuts" wasn't all that Brigadier General McAuliffe said to the Germans at Bastogne.
19.  Don't know how to use a "stress card."
20.  Idolize John Wayne.
21.  Don't believe that AAFES really needs a "commander."
22.  Can remember when homosexuals weren't a "minority group."
23.  Would have paid money to see Custer getting his clock cleaned.
24.  Really don't like taking shit from those who haven't "been there."
25.  Know how to properly construct a field latrine.
26.  Know how to do a daisy chain.
27.  Knows that a daisy chain is not a sex act.
28.  Might admire the Germans, but still realize they got their asses kicked.
29.  Aren't afraid of the Chinese, who probably don't have enough rowboats to invade Taiwan.
30.  Would rather be OPFOR than MOPP 4.
31.  Don't believe a damn thing the Iraqis say.
32.  Don't need a GPS to find themselves.
33.  Have enough cammies in their closet to start a surplus store.
34.  Think that MRE's taste good. (with a little hot sauce)
35.  Are convinced that "wall-to-wall" counseling really works.
36.  Have more time on the front-line than most others have in the chow line.
37.  Know how to make coffee when the measuring scoop goes missing.
38.  Know that it's not good coffee when you can see through it.
39.  Don't blame poor marksmanship on their M-16.
40.  Know that inept leaders will always say they have inept soldiers.

Email -- jdgrose115@polyglut.net
Web -- http://members.tripod.com/~jdgrose115/

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