Captain Grose's Humor pages

 
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An ambitious yuppie finally decided to take a vacation.  He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life. Until the boat sank.

The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other
survivors...no supplies...Nothing. Only banannas and coconuts.

After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to him.  In disbelief, he asks her, "Where did you come from?"  "How did you get here?"

"I rowed from the other side of the island," she replies.  "I landed here when my cruise ship sank."

"Amazing", he says.  "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you."

"Oh, this?" replied the woman.  " I made it out of raw material I found on the island; the oars were whittled from gum tree branches.  I made the bottom from woven palm branches and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."
 

"B-B-B-But that's impossible," stutters the man.  "You had no tools or hardware.  How did you manage?"

"Oh, that was no problem," replies the woman.  "On the south side of the island, there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed.  I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my fire's ashes, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the
tools to make the hardware."

The guy is stunned.  "Lets row over to my place," she says.  After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf.  As the man looks onto shore, he nearly falls out of the boat.  Before him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.
 

While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumbstruck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's not much, but I call it home.  Sit down please.  Would you like to have a drink?" "No, no thank you," he says, still dazed.  "Can't take anymore coconut juice." "It's not coconut juice," the woman replies.  "I have a still.  How about a Pina Colada?"
 

Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable.  Would you like to take a shower and shave?  There is a razor upstairs in the bathroom cabinet."
 

No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom.  There, in the cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle.  Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened to its end inside of a swivel mechanism.

"This woman is amazing," he muses. "What next?"

When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines strategically positioned - and smelling faintly of gardenias.  She beckons for him to sit down next to her.

"Tell me," she begins, suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've been out here for a really long time.  You've been lonely.  There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now?  Something you've been longing for all these months?  You know..." she says as she stares deep into his eyes.  He can't believe what he's hearing:

"You mean---?" he swallows excitedly,

"I can check my e-mail from here....?"


Email -- jdgrose115@polyglut.net
Web -- http://members.tripod.com/~jdgrose115/

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