An ambitious yuppie finally decided to take a vacation.
He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have
the time of his life. Until the boat sank.
The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island
with no other
survivors...no supplies...Nothing. Only banannas and coconuts.
After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day
when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to him.
In disbelief, he asks her, "Where did you come from?"
"How did you get here?"
"I rowed from the other side of the island," she replies.
"I landed here when my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing", he says. "You were really lucky to have
a row boat wash up with you."
"Oh, this?" replied the woman. " I made it out of
raw material I found on the island; the oars were whittled from
gum tree branches. I made the bottom from woven palm branches
and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."
"B-B-B-But that's impossible," stutters the man. "You
had no tools or hardware. How did you manage?"
"Oh, that was no problem," replies the woman. "On
the south side of the island, there is a very unusual strata
of alluvial rock exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain
temperature in my fire's ashes, it melted into forgeable ductile
iron. I used that for tools and used the
tools to make the hardware."
The guy is stunned. "Lets row over to my place," she
says. After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat
at a small wharf. As the man looks onto shore, he nearly
falls out of the boat. Before him is a stone walk leading
to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.
While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven
hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumbstruck. As they
walk into the house, she says casually, "It's not much, but
I call it home. Sit down please. Would you like
to have a drink?" "No, no thank you," he says, still dazed.
"Can't take anymore coconut juice." "It's not coconut juice,"
the woman replies. "I have a still. How about a
Pina Colada?"
Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts,
and they sit down on her couch to talk. After they have exchanged
their stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into
something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower
and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the bathroom cabinet."
No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom.
There, in the cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle.
Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened to its
end inside of a swivel mechanism.
"This woman is amazing," he muses. "What next?"
When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines
strategically positioned - and smelling faintly of gardenias.
She beckons for him to sit down next to her.
"Tell me," she begins, suggestively, slithering closer to
him, "We've been out here for a really long time. You've
been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel
like doing right now? Something you've been longing for
all these months? You know..." she says as she stares
deep into his eyes. He can't believe what he's hearing:
"You mean---?" he swallows excitedly,
"I can check my e-mail from here....?"
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