The Pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered
an early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired
his full benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight
line between any two points on the general's body, with the general
getting to select any pair of points he wished.
The first man, an Air Force general, accepted. He asked
the pension man to measure from the top of his head to the tip
of his toes. Six feet. He walked out with a check of $720,000.
The second man, an Army general, asked them to measure from
the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. Eight feet. He
walked out with a check for $960,000.
When the third general, a grizzled old Marine, was asked
where to measure, he told the pension man ...
"From the tip of my penis to the bottom of my testicles."
The pension man suggested that perhaps the Marine general
might like to reconsider, pointing out the nice checks the previous
two generals had received. The Marine insisted and the pension
expert said that would be fine, but that he'd better get the
medical officer to do the measuring.
The medical officer attended and asked the general to drop
'em. He did. The medical officer placed the tape on the tip
of the general's penis and began to work back. "My God!" he
said. "Where are your testicles?"
The general replied, "In Vietnam."