With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line
of drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in
today's society....
DIRECTRA - a dose of this drug given to men before leaving
on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions
when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2
percent.
PROJECTRA - Men given this experimental new drug were far
more likely to actually finish a household repair project before
starting a new one.
CHILDAGRA - Men taking this drug reported a sudden, over-whelming
urge to perform more child-care tasks - especially cleaning
up spills and "little accidents."
COMPLIMENTRA - In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged
men administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new
hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend
to noticing new clothing.
BUYAGRA - Married and otherwise attached men reported a
sudden urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts
after talking this drug for only two days. Still to be seen:
whether the drug can be continued for a period longer
than your favorites store's return limit.
NEGA-VIAGRA - Has the exact opposite effect of Viagra.
Currently undergoing clinical trials on sitting U.S. presidents.
NEGA-SPORTAGRA - This drug had the strange effect of making
men want to turn off televised sports and actually converse
with other family members.
FLATULAGRA - This complex drug converts men's noxious intestinal
gases back into food solids. Special bonus: Dosage
can be doubled for long car rides.
FLYAGRA - This drug has been showing great promise in treating
men with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder). Especially useful
for men on Viagra.
PRYAGRA - About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave
men in the test group an irresistible urge to dig into the personal
affairs of other people. Note: Apparent over-dose turned
three test subjects into "special prosecutors."
LIAGRA - This drug causes men to be less than truthful when
being asked about their sexual affairs. Will be available
Regular, Grand Jury and Presidential Strength version.
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