10 Ways to Know You Just Got Back From the Field

1. You feel the need to sleep in the bed of your truck
2. You get sleepy when the sun sets
3. You go to the bathroom on your houseplants
4. Fifteen seconds after your wife asks if the car needs GAS, you have donned and cleared your gas mask.
5. You make out a watch bill for your kids to stand fire watch
6. You answer the phone “SEND IT!”
7. Throughout a phone conversation, your mom wonders why you say “BREAK,” stop talking, and then continue.
8. Two days in the same underwear does not seem that bad
9. Your idea of good dental hygiene consists of Chicklets or your finger
10. The bottle of Tabasco sauce in your refrigerator looks industrial size.