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I might be a tanker if . . .
1. I think a hammer is a precision instrument.
2. My idea of a hike is carrying your bags from the
POV parking lot to the tank line.
3. If I go to a fireworks show and feel disappointed
that the noise wasn't loud enough.
4. If I think a Ranger is nothing more than a pick-up
truck.
5. If I think the concept of dismount is the eighth
deadly sin.
6. If I think diesel and cordite are two of the four
basic food groups.
7. If I see a monster truck stuck in the mud and say,
"That's nothin', I once had my tank buried so bad . . ."
8. If I've lost headgear due to a large caliber bullet.
9. If going to the field means bringing the grill
and all the fixin's for a barbecue.
10. If I believed that the maker of smoke grenade
launchers actually planned it so a six pack of 12oz sodas would
fit perfectly in each launcher.
11. If I think that infantry are only curious looking
hot spots for machine gun practice at 800m
12. If I use Chem-Lites to decorate your Christmas
tree.
13. If I can make the transition from driving to sleeping
with just the flip of a wrist.
14. If I have ever been startled out of sleep and
shouted, "Identified!"
15. If the only thing that truly terrifies me is what
might be crawling on the ground.
16. If the EPA knows me by your first name.
17. If I think the best way to handle a fuel spill
is to kick dust over it and move out before anyone notices.
18. If I think there is no such thing as "Too much
Ammo."
19. If I think a good OPORD is "Move north and kill
everything."
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