| I am a
medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset
because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly
reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be
no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down,
and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she
gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the
ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the Emergency
room right away.
***************************************************
Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the airfield
decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were
successful in getting it out of the plane and home. When they
took it for a float on the river, they were surprised by a Coast
Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the
chopper was homing in on the emergency locator that is activated
when the raft is inflated. They are no longer employed there.
***************************************************
California: A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting
to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and
wrote “this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag.”
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller,
he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and
might call the police before he reached the teller window. So
he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells
Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note
to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his
spelling errors that he wasn’t the brightest light in the
harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note
because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and
that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit
slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated,
the man said, Okay,” and left. The Wells Fargo teller then
called the police who arrested the man a few minutes later,
as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
*******************************************************
Texas: A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed
trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his
car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo
of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department
a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter
from the police that contained another picture-of handcuffs.
*******************************************************
A woman was reporting her car as stolen, and mentioned that
there was a car phone in it. The policeman taking the report
called the phone and told the guy that answered that he had
read the ad in the newspaper and wanted to buy the car. They
arranged to meet, and the thief was arrested.
*******************************************************
Michigan: Drug Possession Defendant Christopher Jansen, on trial
in March in Pontiac, Michigan, said he had been searched without
a warrant. The prosecutor said the officer didn’t need
a warrant because a “bulge” in Christopher’s
jacket could have been a gun. Nonsense, said Christopher, who
happened to be wearing the same jacket that day in court. He
handed it over so the judge could see it. The judge discovered
a packet of cocaine in the pocket and laughed so hard he required
a five-minute recess to compose himself.
******************************************************
Oklahoma City: Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery
of a convenience store in a district court when he fired his
lawyer. Assistant district attorney Larry Jones said Newton,
47, was doing a fair job of defending himself until the store
manager testified that Newton was the robber. Newton jumped
up, accused the woman of lying and then said, “I should
have blown your (expletive) head off.” The defendant paused,
then quickly added, “if I’d been the one that was
there.” The jury took 20 minutes to convict Newton and
recommended a 30-year sentence.
*******************************************************
Michigan: R.C. Gaitlan, 21, walked up to two patrol officers
who were showing their squad car computer equipment to children
in a Detroit neighborhood. When he asked how the system worked,
the officer asked him for identification. Gaitlan gave them
his drivers license, they entered it into the computer, and
moments later they arrested Gaitlan because information on the
screen showed Gaitlan was wanted for a two-year-old armed robbery
in St Louis, Missouri.
*******************************************************
Guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded
all cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash
in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind
the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the
bag as well, but he refused and said, “Because I don’t
believe you are over 21.” The robber said he was, but the
clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn’t
believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver’s
license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk
looked it over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21
and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the
store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police
and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off
the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.
*******************************************************
Michigan again: A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record
shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, “Nobody
move!” When his partner moved, the startled first bandit
shot him.
*******************************************************
Tennessee: A man successfully broke into a bank after hours
and stole the bank’s video camera, while the camera was
remotely recording. That is, the videotape recorder was located
elsewhere in the bank, so he didn’t get the videotape of
himself stealing the camera).
*******************************************************
Louisiana: A man walked into a Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash
drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the
register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the
cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter.
The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? $15.
***********************************************************
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store
window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block
and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block
bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking
him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.
The whole event was caught on videotape.
*******************************************************
New York: As a female shopper left a convenience store, a man
grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately
and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of
the snatcher. Within minutes, the police had apprehended the
snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store.
The thief was then taken out of the car and told to “Stand
there for a positive ID.” To which he replied, “Yes,
Officer, that’s her. That’s the lady I stole the purse
from.”
*******************************************************
Michigan: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man
walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 am,
flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because
he said he couldn’t open the cash register without a food
order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they
weren’t available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked
away.
*******************************************************
Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine
by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup
truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though,
they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the
scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine,
with their bumper still attached to the chain...with their vehicle’s
license plate still attached to the bumper.
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