you run away in the middle of a perfectly good leg humping.
2. Blaming your farts on me...not funny.
3. Yelling at me for barking... I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG YOU IDIOT!!
4. How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn't all
over everything while you're gone. (Have you noticed that your
toothbrush tastes a little like cat butt?)
5. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff
out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
6. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose...stop
7. Yelling at me for rubbing my butt on your carpet. Why'd
you buy carpet?
8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests.
Sorry but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet...idiot.
9. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both
know the truth, you're just jealous.
10. Dog sweaters. Have you noticed the fur? Imbecile.
11. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know
why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.
12. When you pick up the crap piles in the yard. Do you
realize how far behind schedule that puts me?
13. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then
acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back.
14. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a
dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain, you
15. Invisible fences. Why do you insist on screwing with
us? To my knowledge, dogdom hasn't yet solved the visible fence