Captain Grose's Humor pages

Please help me keep this site going..


Employee Performance Evaluation

 

 
U
N
I
T
E
D
 
S
T
A
T
E
S
M
A
R
I
N
E
C
O
R
P
S
 
 
 

 

 


Employee Name _______________
Date of Review ________________

KNOWLEDGE:

1.____ The son-of-a-bitch really knows his s***

2.____ Knows only enough to be dangerous

3.____ Only has half a brain and is dangerous

4.____ F***ing brain damaged. His coffee cup has a higher I.Q.

ACCURACY:

1.____ Does excellent work; is not preoccupied with getting laid

2.____ Pretty good; only occasionally blows it out his ass

3.____ Has to take his shoes off to count higher than ten

4.____ Couldn't count his balls and get the same number twice

ATTITUDE:

1.____ Extremely cooperative (Kisses ass frequently)

2.____ Brown noser in poor standing

3.____ Often pisses off co-workers; thinks it's his job

4.____ Doesn't give a damn; never did, never will

RELIABILITY:

1.____ Really a dependable little c***sucker

2.____ Can rely on him at evaluation time

3.____ Can rely on him to be the first one out the f***ing door

4.____ Totally f***ing worthless

APPEARANCE:

1.____ Extremely neat; even combs his pubic hair

2.____ Looks great at evaluation time

3.____ Dirty, filthy, smelly son-of-a-bitch

4.____ Flies leave fresh dog s*** to follow him

PERFORMANCE:

1.____ Goes like a son-of-a-bitch if there is money in it for him

2.____ Does OK around evaluation time

3.____ Works only if kicked in the ass every two minutes

4.____ Couldn't do less work if he were in a coma

LEADERSHIP:

1.____ Carries chain saw and gets good results

2.____ Occasionally gets told to get f***ed

3.____ Mother Theresa tells him to get f***ed

4.____ Couldn't lead a pack of hungry wolves to meat


I understand that I have been evaluated and know my rights under the Privacy Act of 1969. I further acknowledge that I am as f***ed up as a football bat and will attempt to correct my deficiencies.

EMPLOYEE SIGNATURE
X__________________________________________________

MANAGER SIGNATURE
X__________________________________________________


Email -- jdgrose115@polyglut.net
Web -- http://members.tripod.com/~jdgrose115/

Please help me keep this site going...