If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will
call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. But if Mike, Charlie,
Bob and John go out for a night with the guys, they will affectionately
refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Useless.
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each
throw in $20, even though it's only for $22.50. None of them
will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they
want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving
cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom
is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says
after that is the beginning of a new argument.
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty
the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings, funerals.
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows
about dentist appointments and romances, best friends and favorite
foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in
two people remembering the same thing.