The preacher, in his Sunday sermon, used "Forgive Your Enemies"
as his subject. After a long sermon, he asked how many were willing
to forgive their enemies. About half held up their hands.
Not satisfied he harangued the congregation for another
twenty minutes and repeated his question. This received a response
of eighty percent.
Still unsatisfied, he lectured for fifteen more minutes
and repeated his question. With thoughts of Sunday dinner, all
responded except one old gentleman in the rear.
"Mr. Jones, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"
"I don't have any."
"Mr. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?"
"Mr. Jones, please come down in front and tell the congregation
how a man can live to be eighty-six and not have an enemy in
The old man teetered down the aisle and slowly turned around.
"It's easy. I just outlived the sons of bitches."