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15  THINGS  TO  DO  AT WAL MART WHILE THE SPOUSE IS TAKING HER SWEET TIME

 

 
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1. Get boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10 minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the rest rooms.

4. Walk  up  to an employee and tell him/her in   an official tone, "I think we have a Code 3 in house wares", . . . and see what happens.

5. Put M&M's on lay away.

6. Move 'CAUTION WET FLOOR' signs to carpet areas.

7. Set  up  a  tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When  someone  asks if they can help you, begin  to cry and ask, "Why won't you people leave me alone?"

9. Look  right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

10. While  handling  guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

11.   Dart   around   suspiciously  while humming  the theme from 'Mission Impossible'.

12. In  the  auto  department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.

13. Hide  in  the  clothing rack and when people browse through say "PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! Its all those voices again."

15. Go into the fitting room and yell really loud .. "Hey we're out of toilet paper in here!"


Email -- jdgrose115@polyglut.net
Web -- http://members.tripod.com/~jdgrose115/

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